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RAN AWAY-
to another world
to another place
to another home
to a new life
to a new me
relink me at--
www.solitary-.blogspot.com
strangers can link me
i dun mind (:
andipromiseyou; thatyouwillneverbe replaced*
i feel lost
tired
so sick of everything
so darn sick
juz wanna cry
feel lyk dying
wads happening to me
i feel lyk quiting crcy
really feel lyk
i wanna give up
i wanna die
i hate myself
and everyone hates me too
yes
i noe dat
its obvious
the way u all roll ur eyes
the way u all tok to me
its obvious
very obvious
u all hate me
its ritten on ur face
so juz stop it
stop it pls
i'm begging u all
please...
she
is nice
yes
wait
is she?
they say she is not
izzit true?
i dunnoe
i really dunnoe
yes
i should hate her
yes
i should
i will
she sux
yes
dats correct
she sux
dats true
i hate her now
yes
she totally sux
yar
she does suck
yuppz
are they dat bad?
i dunnoe
yes they are
all of dem sux
yes
they all are the same
all of dem are suckers
yes they are
yes
i suck too
cant get anything right
yar
shouldnt be in crescent
should be in hell
yar
dats where i belong
i am crazy
i am weird
i am bossy
i am insensitive
i am sensitive
i am proud
i am stoopid
i suck in everything
where else should i be
i miss my squadmates
wad happens if i quit crcy
wad happens if my mum forces me too
wad will i do
wad would happen to me
i will cry
yes
quietly
softly
bitterly
wad am i gonna do
i will miss dem
i will die
but i dun wanna quit
its fun
i always look forward to rc activities
i am scared
how
why
i dun wanna quit
no
i shant
i will stand up on my own one day
on my feet
by myself
all alone
i haven told my mum abt my cheena marks yet
how
wad should i do
i haven gone to church lately
how
i am worried
scared
how
i am worried for my tests
why
why muz i be stoopid
why muz i be so afraid of dem
why
why...
she says i tink too much
do i?
maybe
i dunnoe
really meh
do i tink too much
i dunnoe
maybe i do
yar
maybe
no
i am really tiinking too much
but i cant control myself frm tinking
how
will i die
yes i will
den i wont cause ppl around me to suffer
coz i suck too much
i am juz a thorn in their flesh
yar
i really suck lyk shitt
questions
so many questions
answers
i need answers
is there answers
no
there are no answers
why
why arent there answers
answers
answers to answer my questions
answers
dats all i want
and dats all i need...
tHe fLyiNg aNgeL sAys:
'even if u are on the right track... u will get run over if u juz sit there'
andipromiseyou; thatyouwillneverbe replaced*
heya
so long haven blog yet
erm
common tests coming liaoz!
so fast lor
good luck ppl!
esp. C2 rians!!
u guys rawwk lyk siow man!!
woohooooo!!!!
lalalz
and to all my squadmates
all the bez
crcy rulez foreva!!
wooohhoooooo!!!!
hahhaz
being siow
erm
cut my hair
yar
i tink i look DISGUSTING!
ewww
regreted it
but now hair easier to dry after bathe
hahs (:
so sad
dis two weeks no rc activity
i missed it...
forgot some of the commands for footdrill already
ahh!
muz go practice...
today national day celebration
yar
so fun
crescent rawwks lorz
yoohooo!!
can wear outside clothes again
they say muz wear red and white
i wore a pink(dark) and white shorts
lalalaz
sang national day songs
can cry
'one united people... of singapore... my homeland!'
so glad and happy dat i lived in singapore
SINGAPORE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
I LURVE YOU SINGAPORE!!
den after dat
stayed back for rc
tok to my squadmates
ask dem...........................................
yar... i noe wad i asked
dun wanna say here
wanted to cry
but we laughed and cried
hahahs
teared more lyk
my squadmates rawk lar
hahas
my dearest squadmates:
diana- very enthu, she ROCKS!
shuqiao- blur yet enthu
serena- very enthu and lyks pt. (hahhas)
yuzhou- so enthu man she... first choice was rcy le...
denise- okay lar... enthu oso... but always laugh
ashma- she always smile wun... (:
salma- always wif aishu and sukeerthi
lisa- so darn enthu... always wave to me (:
aishu- YOU RAWK! so enthu...
sukeerthi- oso very enthu abt rcy wun
shiqi- always laugh and laugh... crack countless jokes... hahhas... she very farnie wun (:
farhani- omg... U TOTALLY RAWK!! so concern abt our squad and so enthu
safa- another one... SAFA! U RAWK!! WOOHOO!! so so so so enthu abt rcy.. dats why everyone loves her..
yanyue- so wen rou de... hahhas... so enthu as well
xueli- so darn chao enthu man... juz lyk farhani
verna- aiyo... all 1G3 rcy '04 all very enthu wun....
yvette- very enthu oso... (:
jazreel and veronica- both of u RAWK man.... so enthu in rcy lorz
phoebe- waulou.. she very serious abt rcy man
chi shan- SHE RAWKS! juz lyk safa and farhani and xueli!!
yuhua- so quiet yet good
hahahs... dis are my squadmates
moz of dem rawk
and erm
squadmates
if u all haf any problems or anything right
can tok to us squadmates de kk??
i simply lurve u ppl
sighs
i tink she rawks lorz..
wow...
i noe so many rawkkers
hahahs (:
everyone rawks!!
hahahahs
me crazy le
lalalz
gtg le
cya! (:
tHe fLyiNg aNgeL sAys:
'live as if u were to die tml... learn as if u were to live foreva'
andipromiseyou; thatyouwillneverbe replaced*
adel...
to answer ur question
abt whether izzit an obssesion....
actually
i dunnoe
i really dont
somehow..
the feeling...
the feeling is juz..
its juz so special
different...
i dunnoe..
really...
its...
undescribable
yar.. dats the word
btw to those ppl out there who dosent noe wads happening...
ITS SO NOT A BOY-GIRL RELATIONSHIP
juz in case u guys were tinking
okkay
better change subject
erms...
listening to complicated now
downloaded it
more lyk copied it from ppl's tablet
hahas
erm.... well
suppose to do art
but i dunt care now
i am so slack now
now i really noe how to live the slacker's style
hahaz
oh yar!
yesterday
had choral reading... so need to stay back
den hor..
waulou
dat stoopid
go and catch me and shiany
wad da hell is wrong wif running man
sheesh
okkay... i shall type out everything...
had to stay back for choral reading..
den lela dinnoe some of the actions
coz she neva come to skool the day b4 mah
so me.. shiany... lam and sand and peiyi had to skip lunch to teach lela
den.. we were lyk .. late
coz we were suppose to reach there at 1.40 pm
but we left the classroom at 1.40pm
so...
me and shiany decided to run there...
coz hor.. the class oso wanted to rehearse one more time together
so.. we ran lar
and den...
while we were running past over level...
we realise dat the
den we slowed down
i checked me and shiany attire
but its okay leh
sry... alot of sensored words
den... she started glaring at us
den suddenly.. she said
stop! and stand there!!
we were lyk... wad da hell?
wads happening??
of course... we stood at the corner..
den she went in to the class...
we waited outside
we checked our attire again
but it was still okkay lorz
den we were wondering why were we caught
den.. i realised
we were running.. dats all!!
i wanted to laugh!!!!!
running????
wad da fucking hell is wrong wif running lorz...
waulou
den i really wanted to laugh
den she came out
she ask us in chinese
'do u noe y u two were caught'
we remain silent for a while...
den i said.. ' coz we were running'
she said yes...
she ask us do u noe why we cant run
den we din answer
so she ask us to tink abt the reasons
den shiany said.. will disturb others...
and will knock into other ppl
so she ask us if we still wanna run...
den shiany nodded her head.. meaning dat she understood dat we cant run
den the
so she ask us to continue tinking..
wanna die lorz
den we tot of three things:
-will knock ppl down
-will disturb others
-will fall down
i really felt lyk bursting out into laughter
coz i find it darn farnie lehx..
being caught coz we were running
when u r late and wanna rush..
of course u run lar!
if not wad?
waulou leh
cant stand it
really wanted to LAUGH OUT LOUD!
ahhahs
den she brought out a handbook
ask us to read the handbook.. read the mission and vision
den while i was reading halfway..
i almost laughed...
not bcoz i am laughing at the skool
but bcoz i was caught coz i was juz RUNNING!
omgosh
den she shouted at me say why am i laughing
izzit bcoz i am laughing at the skool
den i said no... and remain calm
den she said sumthing abt standing outside the general office
but she said it so fast
but she went into the classroom
so i asked her again
den she ask me and shiany to follow her
so we did
she asked us hu is our form teacher
we said mdm kala
den.. we were walking to somewhere
den hor.. dis is the funniest part
we saw a sec 3 girl running past us
and it was lyk... darn fast lorz
den i was tinking.. poor girl man
den .. really!! she asked dat sec 3 girl to stop and follow us..
den she said dat its bcoz we were (pointing at us) caught for running..
den she ran past us.. so she oso need to catch her
den dat girl face was lyk.. huh????
darn farnie..
i wanted to laugh again lorz!!!
so we sat down at a table outside the theterate
we got another handbook...
frm someone else
and that
den hor...
she ask us to write down our names and class and form teacher on a piece of paper..
we did
and she oso ask us to list down ten things for being a more lady like crescentian
i was lyk... wad the....
and muz memorise the vision and mission
by tml!! (dats today... but we din... and i tink she forgot all abt it)
ahhas
so farnie kaez
den we left
we couldnt run..
i was trying not to laugh...
we walked... very lady-like to the PAT
i really wanted to laugh
den today and yesterday.. we keep teasing each other to be more lady-like
so darn farnie!!
den we asked the pro to teach us (lammie)
hahahas
so so farnie lorz!!!
oh.. and the other day
she wanted to book jo and two others coz our classroom wasnt clean
and she juz SUDDENLY came into our classroom during math
wanna die kk
she is a total-- TOOT!
urgh!!!
hate her man...
<d>fcuk her!!
okkay
musnt be too vulguar
muz be more lady-like
she is siow wun!!!!
erm..
gtg now
hahahz
byez (:
ps: crcy rawks foreva man... and yan is the best!
tHe fLyiNg aNgeL sAys:
'darkness cannot drive out darkness.. only light can..... hatred cannot drive out hatred.. only love can.....'
andipromiseyou; thatyouwillneverbe replaced*
hihi
haha..
dunnoe wad to do now
at sand's hse
suppose to do pbl
but slacking
coz sq and xw not here mah....
lolz
sighs
today...
erms.. nth much lar realy..
sighs
my life i so bored..
okkay
erm..
better start doing pbl now
if not will die wun lar
hahah
i realy pity jojo
she really works real hard 4 the choral reading thingy
poor gurl
she rawks man
sighs
GO JO!
DUN EVER GIVE UP GAL!
okkay
really gtg now
hahaz
byez (:
ps: i am totally CRAZY over zh senior now
tHe fLyiNg aNgeL sAys:
' you will neva soar wif the eagles.. if u run around wif a bunch of turkeys '
andipromiseyou; thatyouwillneverbe replaced*
erm... so long haven blogged yet..
sry arh ppl
coz no time...
sighs
dis few dayz got lots of tests
can die de...
dun give up kaez C2 rians!!
okkay..
erm.. well
nth really much happen dis few days lar...
erm.. lets start frm the week after the ma'ams step down kaez?
well... nth much happen the whole week lar..
realised i am SLACKING TERRIBLY!!
cant believe it...
i seldom do hw now..
hhahaz
dunnoe whether i should be proud of myself or wad...
aiya.. wadeva larz
only the next activity(rc)
erm.. we interacted with the new nco 's
they were all very nice lorz
we had games
then we had administration
our level heads are.....
enli ma'am and beng hui ma'am
*applauses*
budden i tink i darn wad lehx
coz.. enli was is my peer leader lehx
so its lyk.. greeting my own peer leader liddat..
then hor.. bh ma'am is 1C1 class councilor..
den i was once a C1 rian lorz...
sighs
anyway.. they all seem nice lar
going back to my fav. phrase
' all ma'ams are nice '
now i changed it to:
' all ncos are nice '
yuppz
den after dat
we had ORAL!!
thank goodness my is only eng oral
budden still i neva practise
so i am surely gonna FAIL!!
uhhuh... and my examinier is... MS SHARON GOH!!
our teacher in charge lorz!!
i wanted to die lehx
and they JUST switch teacher juz before bel had her oral..
then when i greeted her before i took my oral rite...
at first her eyes was looking at me..
den i saw it move to where my rc enrolment badge is
and i was lyk... ' oh no'
i really wanted to kill myself
then.. the conversation was abt traditions
den.. i dunnoe wad da fcuk happen to me
i started toking abt easter day..
can u believe it?? EASTER DAY!!
has easter day gotta do wif traditions??
omg... can die le...
and i had lyk.. COUNTLESS errors when i had my reading aloud...
aiyo... dis kind of oral arh.. sure fail one..
if dun fail rite... sumthing muz be wrong le
den.. we met up again.. at our special area
me.. safa.. farhani... xl.. serena... shiqi... and forgot hu else
den we finished doing zx ma'am's bdae prezzie
its a cup larz
actually.. we found out dat it was zx ma'am bdae on 16 july..
the day b4 zx ma'am bdae
and her bdae falls on our very first rc activity wif the new ncos
budden din get to finish decorating it
so sry zx ma'am!!
but in the end we finally finished it
phew.. we gave to her days later...
.. and... erm
wad else?
oh yar.. i failed my math test...
i neva even studied for it
got 9/20
hahahz
so proud
and den phua got angry wif us
coz many failed
and we were laughing away
insane man we all
hahaz...
1C2 ('04).... u ppl really RAWWK!!
too bad for him lar..
hu ask him to be such a sucking math teacher
f- him man...
den we had our secong math test
abt mean, mode and median
quite okkay lar the test
juz dat i made sum stoopid careless mistake..
aiya... i suck lar
and oh... dis few days could use tablet to write down notes
kinda fun larz
but sum times very ma fun one
but its liddat one lar
and i bought dis stupid bag..
very cute de
budden i tink is so darn childish kaez
yellow colour de
mum say to put my tablet
i told her i din want it
she insisted..
so... bo bian lorz
oh yar!!
we gave the cards to dem already!
to the sec 4s!
we finally finished it
budden... i din give to dem!!
i wanna give to dem!!
sobz
farhani and safa and xue li forgot to ask me along!!
ahhh!!
aiya.. neva mind lar
din really matter
(so dun say sry kk)
erm... dats all larz.. for the past few days
so.. today
we had to clean up the canteen for speech day
yuppz
only sum haf to go
not all
we had to bring rags
to clean the tables and benches
we got to carry dem here and there...
den hor.. coz it was raining
then water spilled on my skirt ( as well as everyone else )
then i said... den she said... oh neva mind lar.. nth important
and erm...
they gave us bread to eat and water to drink
i ate the bread
at the wrong place
not in the canteen
then... bh ma'am saw me
then she said
' monica, you cannot eat here'
omg!! i wanted to die!!
so malu kaez
so i said ' yes ma'am, sry ma'am '
waulou..
how can i be so stoopid
to eat infront of my level head
besides... she is councilor lorz...
sighs
and oh yar!
mr yeo helped us in moving the tables and chairs
den after everthing, he said..
' Red Cross is the Best!! '
yay!! all of us clapped
so happy lorz
lolz
hmm...
need to go now
sighs
byez (:
tHe fLyiNg aNgeL sAys:
' a fren is one hu noes u.. and loves u juz the same '
andipromiseyou; thatyouwillneverbe replaced*
so sad!!!!!!!
i cant believe it!
they step down already!!
i cried lorz...
i will really miss dem..
they r all actually really nice...
i juz cant believe it...
they r so nice loz...
shoots.. i tink i am gonna cry again..
erm.. okay..
enough of all dat crying..
jh ma'am said dat when we let dem leave..
we muz be happy for dem and be glad dat they r gonna be great ppl and make us proud..
sumthing liddat... i forgot already...
but dat senence really make me wanna cry even more..
okay... enough of dis...
erm... i decided dat i shall type a chao long blog..
juz for the ma'ams.. yuppz..
so the follwing shall be TOTALLY devoted to dem.. (crcy ma'ams '04)
uhhuh... hmmm.. back to the very first day...
when i was choosing my cca... i din noe wad to choose.. but i am really sure dat i dun wanna be in dance or choir... nope! i am gonna be in a uniform group.. yuppz.. discuss it wif my parents.. mum said no.. dad said yes.. in the end.. first choice was gg.. den npcc... den rcy.. and when i found out i went into rcy.. i almoz died!! i tot i will hate it.. but no... i started lurving.. right frm the very first day of it.. the day when we played games... water games..yuppz! it was darn fun lorz.. i still remember xa ma'am and zh ma'am pour water all over me... it was one of my best days ever!!! den i still remember me and shiqi was suppose to chase xh ma'am to get one shoelace frm her...it was so so fun.. our sec 2 and sec 3 seniors were so nice to us sec 1s... at dat time there were only 16 of us... den i was begining to LURVE crez rcy... we had ma'ams.. hu r sec 4s...den at first i tot dat they r lyk.. frenz.. u noe... ppl whom u can tok to.. haf fun wif and say hello wif.. well .. i was WRONG... after games... we went through the REAL thing... we realise we had to greet the ma'amz... and everything else... all the respect... sense of emergency... rck.. evacution... first aid... footdrill...and of course firedrill. i really din expect dis to happen lorz... we oso cant roll our eyes or say 'yar' or 'okay' at the ma'ams!! i was lyk.. huh?? wads dis man.. everything oso cannot do... and wads more.. we be respectful to dem and all dat stuff... den.. we were enrolled as crez rcy cadets... so happy!! budden had to pay 4 lots of stufff. but its all worth it... den comes our very first activity.. the serios one... i found out i was the first ic!! i was lyk.. panicking lyk siow za bo liddat... i was so so so scared... really... my seniors den taught me how to report and stuff .. all the comands and everything.. it was so scary... then... the day came.. i repotred to sofia ma'am.. made LOADS of mistakes... so scared... and den i din haf pe tee dat time.. so i had to borrow frm asyiqin ma'am.. she was so nice lorz... sighs... dat was my very first time being ic dat i will neva forget... den.. we had debrief... they say they expects us to haf response.... we haf to answer 'yes ma'am ' or ' no ma'am' dats it.. and muz be loud and clear... i tot dat they were simply crazy!! now.. i realise i am the crazy one tinking they r crazy... den.. i can still remember our very first time we did pumping.. yuppz...it was in the parade square.. we were suppose to be practising our footdrill .. when some of our squad mates were not listening and started looking at the ncc ppl.... den.. xh ma'am and xa ma'am were so angry.. i can still remember xh ma'am shouted " go down to your push up positions now!!" den we had to stay in recovery position for a very long time.. they said they were very very disappointed wif us... our second time pumping was at the service road.. now everytime i go there... memories will juz flood my mind... then.. we had our very first water parade! and let me tell u... its very hard... we haf to bring a 1.5 litre coke bottle to skool .. filled up to the brim... and hold it up high.. arms very straight... and muz shout " Serve one another.. yam seng! " wow... by the time u finish saying dat ur arms will be aching... den u muz still say " permission to drink water ma'ams and ICs" goodness!! i could haf died on the spot.. but i made it in the end and drink my fill... dats when i learnt abt perseverence and to endure...sighs... dats when i realise crcy really rawks... den.. we had footdrill lessons.. uhhuh.. we muz noe all the commands.. lyk' sediya' and 'senang diri'... and much much more... den we muz oso help our squadmates if they r not sure... so.. we had to organise our own squadmeetings to practise footdrills... yuppz!! and i ALWAYS looked forwrd to dem... coz its always so so fun!! erm... den we oso had evactuation lessons... our teachers r sofia ma'am and zh ma'am... there was once when we had to do practical... den we were making alot of noise... den zh ma'am say we all very noisy... den... there was oso once when most of us were dragging when we walked into the classroom... den somebody continued dragging when we were doing practical... den... sofia ma'am pumped us... and everytime we go in to each classroom.. if there r nco's inside.. we muz say 'permission to enter ma'ams (and ic's)'... yuppz.. den.. sighs...i will neva forget dis part... i added the ma'ams... in msn messenger... yuppz... dinnoe how come i dared to... but well.. i did. and so... i tok to xy ma'am for the very first time... she was so darn nice to me and * kayz... den... the problem came... me and * accidentally offended xa ma'am, xy ma'am and zh ma'am... until now i still dunnoe wad did we do but.. on the following sat. we had to tok to dem .. privately.. we went into the place at the second level.. where the air-con is placed... we opened the gate and went in... me, *, xa ma'am, xh ma'am and xy ma'am... they tok to us for a very long time.... they said sry to us coz they weren't very nice to us as well.. sigh.. dun wanna tok abt it already... lets carry on..... oh yar! we oso gave the ma'ams a card lar.. saying.. good luck for ur exams.. hahahs... all thx to chi shan (u rawk gal).. she bought the cards... they all said thankew to us.. xa ma'am said she wants safa to rite for her coz her handriting very nice.. so farnie lorz.. cant stop smiling... (:
well... today.. the ma'ams step down..
did i cry? u bet i did!
most of us sec 1 s cried lar...
asyiqin ma'am and xa ma'am tok to us...
asyiqin ma'am started crying very badly..
den me and safa oso started crying...
both of dem said they were very happy to be our level heads...
xa ma'am say we din create much trouble..
asyiqin ma'am said we r all very good and she was proud of us...
den we hugged her
actually.. not all of us did
i hugged ALL!!
even xh ma'am and sofia ma'am...
cant stop crying and laughing dat day
i oso hugged deepika ic
den we all found out dat they were all very nice ppl
we snacked and drinked
den.. me, lisa, xl, safa, chishan, and farhani stayed backed to tok...
we took all of the ma'ams pictures by handphone...
but sadly mj ma'am left first.. so we missed her photo.. so sad lehx
den we toked at our special area...
near the miniforum there.. the table...
we toked abt all the wonderful memories we had..
both happy and sad ones...
den me and the others cried again...
dis time... i cried very badly...
asyiqin ma'am gave us a flower clip..
now everytime i see it.. i start tearing...
sighs...
ma'ams (crcy'04 sec 4s)
dis blog is juz for u all...
i dun tink u all will see dis .. but.. still...
i juz wanna thank u all
for being so patient.. as well as so understanding to us
even though we made countless mistakes
u all will still try ur best to make us change
thank you ma'ams...
for making us always look forward to the next activity
and let us have such a fun and enjoyable time in crcy
and so many memories to keep deep inside our hearts
ma'ams...
i wish u all all the best in everything u all do
i am now very proud to be in crcy
coz u all are such great ppl
thank you ma'ams for everything...
and most importantly...
i will miss u ppl... very much
i love u guys... (:
-crcy foreva-
moni(:
tHe fLyiNg aNgeL sAys:
' someday, u will forget abt me. abt me, my name, my voice and hu i am to u. but even if u forget abt me, juz wanna let u noe dat i will... neva forget u' ( dedicated to crcy '04 sec 4 nco's )
andipromiseyou; thatyouwillneverbe replaced*
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